Monday, February 10, 2014

Learning to Let Go, One Birthday Party at a Time

Party Time!
The first few times a child attends a birthday without having their parent along can be nerve-wracking for both the child and the parent. This practice usually starts when children are somewhere between 5 and 8 years old, but, the exact age depends on many factors including the child themselves, whether they have an older sibling attending the party and how well they know the child who is having the birthday.

It is nice if the host has made it clear on the invitation as to whether parents are required or even welcome to stay. My children have attended birthdays where the host specifically stated that at least one parent should be in attendance. We have received other invitations that had a time for drop off and a time for pick up making it clear they were prepared to have the children there without their parents.

Good communication and a smooth arrival set the tone for any successful event. Here are our top 3 tips for hosts and for guests to help get everything off to a great start.

TOP 3 TIPS FOR THE HOST

1.     Plan it out
Imagine yourself as a person arriving at the party. You will likely have a gift in hand and may have a coat and shoes that need to be removed. Have the closet cleared out with plenty of extra hangers, mats or trays for wet footwear and a table nearby or a plan for where the presents will go.

2.      Come right in
Whish Keep Calm
Help your guests make a smooth transition into the party by gently directing them to an activity that will put them at ease. For children we suggest having some sort of activity set up that is easy for kids to join in on as they arrive. If the party is outdoors or in a hall you might have a bunch of gymnasium balls available to play with. If the party is at your home we suggest setting up a table with building block toys or crayons and paper. Ideally arrange this in a room that is fairly close to the door so your young guests can engage in a familiar activity while getting their bearings. Help put the adult guests at ease be making an introduction to someone who has already arrived, getting them a drink or even asking them to help with the children’s welcome activity.


3.     Focus on Fun
Sure you might have been up until the wee hours of the morning putting the finishing touches on the cake and maybe you just swept everything off the top of your desk and crammed it into a drawer; but once the first guest arrives it’s time to take a deep breath and put your focus on your guests and having a great time. Don’t sweat the imperfections or apologize for what might not have been done.   If you seem nervous or flustered people will feel like their presence is an imposition. Just keep moving forward, roll with the punches and set the tone for fun.  Entertaining young children can be quite unpredictable so having a few trusted, level-headed friends on hand can make all the difference.

Having the basics taken care of and some extra strategies in place are the keys to helping a party go smoothly. One great recommendation for parties where children are being dropped off is to have a Party Sign-In Sheet (see below) at the door. You can tell at a glance who has and has not yet arrived but also makes sure you have contact numbers and allergy or special concerns information at your fingertips. We recommend filling in any information you have in advance to keep things running smoothly. Your advanced preparation will also reassure the parents that you got their note about Johnny’s peanut allergy and have likely taken that into account when preparing the food.

TOP 3 TIPS FOR GUESTS

Being a guest has its own set of rules. Being mindful of your role will make it easier for the host to be at their best.

1.     Arrive on time
Children’s parties often have games and activities planned.  It is easier for the host if everyone arrives on time but it is also easier for the guests. Think about how you feel showing up at a meeting that has already begun. So if the invitation says 2:00 you should arrive between 2:00 and 2:10. Arriving early is not a good idea as the host may still be taking care of the few last minute touches.

2.     Be Prepared
Set your child up for success by making sure they are well rested, fed and have used the bathroom. Even though they will likely be offered some sort of snack at a party it is a good idea to give your child something to eat in advance so they can still be at their best even if the snack is served near the end of the party, is something they don’t care for, or if they are simply too excited to eat.  Help prepare your child by discussing likely scenarios such as what to do if you need to go to the bathroom or who to ask if you need something.

3.     It’s All About Trust
If you are dropping your child off at the party you have decided that you trust your host and your child to be alright in your absence. Even if you are having some separation anxiety, do your best to put on a brave face. If you show your child that you are worried they are more likely to be nervous. Of course if you really don’t feel that your child will be safe or be able to handle the situation find a way to stay and help. I have “volunteered” to help out more than once, particularly in a busy public place, where I did not feel that there were enough helpers to supervise.


Your children are children today, but, bit by bit you are helping them to become adults. The experience they gain attending parties on their own and learning to interact in different social situations is an important part of that journey.

Birthday Party Sign in Sheet

Article Sourcehttp://www.whish.ca/blog/95-learning-to-let-go-one-birthday-party-at-a-time?ModPageSpeed=off



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